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I Wonder If

Paul Smith

You've deep in another novel
I wish I was as committed as you
I wish all this was solvable
Do you still laugh at The New Yorker cartoons?
Searching for a meaning
That was hard to capture

I wonder if your nose is still cold?
Are you out there on the balcony
Cutting out another article to keep,
Staring out at the skeleton factories?

A vague quote in a brand-new notebook
My drawing of Scott Walker pinned to your fridge
Wondering if you still love me
I know that you once said that you did
The doom held off
Long enough for another chapter

I wonder if your nose is still red?
Veins popping in indignation
At the hours that you keep
Further to our final conversation

When you were alone in your empty, half-sold flat
I would battle the drunks out on their Christmas do
Dressed in cheap costume, just to make it to you

I wonder if your nose is still cold?
Are you out there on the balcony?
Time to draw it out some more
Stinging nettles for a memory

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