How Did You Get My Name?

The terrorists
On the internet
Who make up shit
For fun

They'll tell me why
Some of the time
And say anything
They want

But how did you get my name
And my number
Are you trolling me
For fun

How did you get my name
And my home address
Are you serious
If you even exist

The last time I
Answered the phone
For a number I
Didn't know

They told me that
If I didn't pay
Like right away
I'd go to jail

But the joke's on you
I've got all day
To play your game
And lose

But how did you get my number
And my first pet's name
Who can I blame
The captcha?

And how did you get my zip code
For the house before
I moved away
From my landlord

The holy man
With his perfect plan
To convince us all
He can't be wrong

With a simple shove
We take the plunge
And the waters rise
And the money's gone

But how did you get my name
And a photograph
Of my grandma's cat
From '95

And how did you get my shopping list
From 2006
When I bought that bed
Just to get some rest

Now I'm targeted