Gather in the Mushrooms

Now, lucy went down on a farm, tried to milk a cow
Though she tried, she couldn't get the hang of it somehow
The farmer looked at lucy, and he murmured with a frown
Well, you just hang on tightly, gal, and she'll jump up and down

Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot
Pop 'em in the oven an' serve 'em piping hot

To make herself more beautiful, she thought she'd bathe in milk
She said: I'll have a bathful, to her milkman jackie wilke
He said: Do you want it pasteurized before I pour it in?
She said: No, I'll be happy if it comes up to mə chin

Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot
Pop 'em in the oven an' serve 'em piping hot

The farmer called at lucy one dark and stormy night
She said: You are too old for me because your hair is white
He looked into her eyes, and then he knew he'd have to tell her
There's snow upon the roof, but there's a fire in the cellar!

Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot
Pop 'em in the oven an' serve 'em piping hot

She took him in the kitchen, she was his turtle-dove
And then she started cooking dumplings on the stove
She wore a low-cut dress – oh, it was as green as clover
He jumped with glee 'cause he could see her dumplings boiling over

Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot
Pop 'em in the oven an' serve 'em piping hot

She said: You give me half a crown, I will read your palm
And then, she saw his love line went halfway up his arm
So now, she's changed her prices, although she's just as willing
It's big fat men at two pound ten and little boys a shilling

Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot
Pop 'em in the oven and serve 'em piping hot
We're gonna gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot
Pop 'em in the oven an' serve them piping hot