The Beach At St. Tropez

He saw her in her bathing suit
As she lay upon the golden sand
She said
I suppose that you're admiring
My arms and legs because they're tanned
But there's parts of me that you can't see
And they're all white, old thing
He said
I bet they're better than all white
I'll bet they're absolutely ravishing!

She brought her ma as chaperone
'Cause you know what people say
A girl's not safe, all on her own
On the beach at St. Tropez

She showed him a snap of her
He said
That bare midriff's not very chaste
She said
That's not a bare midriff
That's Jack's bare arm around my waist
He put his glasses on, and then
He stared at the snap a little more
Then he said
I knew I'd never seen you wear a wristwatch there before

She brought her ma as chaperone
'Cause you know what people say
A girl's not safe all on her own, on the beach at St. Tropez

Very soon, they were but friends
And one day, he taught her how to swim
First, the breast stroke, then the crawl
While she clung on tight to him
Then, Mama came down the promenade
She saw them and cried
Oh, deary me!
If you're going to carry on like that
You'd better both go into the sea

She brought her ma as chaperone
'Cause you know what people say
A girl's not safe all on her own, on the beach at St. Tropez

Ma said
Now you're 17, it is time you knew what's what
So they talked about the facts of life
And her mother learned an awful lot
She said
Never let him in your room
She remembered what Mama had said
And she never let him in her room
She went along to his instead

She brought her ma as chaperone
'Cause you know what people say
A girl's not safe all on her own, on the beach at St. Tropez

And so, mama sent her home
For she feared that she might go astray
Then, one day, she got a note
From her boy in St. Tropez
But the contents of the note he wrote
Made her feel so very sad
He said
Today, I married your mama
Yours with fond affection, Dad

So, all you lovely British girls
Listen carefully to what I say
Bring your sister, not Mama
When you come to St. Tropez