The Egg Marketing Board Tango

It's the Egg Marketing Board Tango
In other words, the dance of love

You go down to the Palais
And you're eager for a dance
You see a lovely stranger
And your eyes meet quite by chance

She's warm and she's desirable
With lips meant to be kissed
So, you stand eight feet apart
And do the twist
Oh, Lord!

But in the tango, you get the chance
To hold her, oh, so near
And you gaze into her lovely eyes of blue
And while you're dancing
You whisper sweet nothings in her ear
And she says: Sweet nothing doing
Back to you

You give her ear a nibble
You give her cheek a peck
You've got her in a grip of steel
You're breathing down her neck
And then she says those magic words
That thrill you through and through
You've been eating pickled onions, haven't you?
Oh, poo!

Once I met a girl called Kitty
Who was pretty as could be
She lived up in the city
And she asked me 'round to tea
But pretty, witty Kitty
She tried to pull my leg
So I hit her, what a pity
With a soft-boiled egg

Then, the wireless played a tango
And I held her in my arms
As we swayed, and we glided 'round the room
And when her dad came in
We carried on, alas I didn't know
He was deaf and he couldn't hear the tune

He punched me in the ear 'ole
And he hit me with a vase
He chased me down the garden
And he kicked me on the grass
So now, I swear I'm finished
As true as stars above
With the tango, the dance of love